The Talk
by Lady McClellan
Summary: When Obi-Wan spends the night out his apprentice demands an explaination. (Revised again for spelling)


Parent and teacher, it's going to be up to Obi-Wan to explain some things to Anakin.  Let's see how he handles it.

Disclaimer: It belongs to George Lucas, not me, boo-hoo, don't sue.  I have no mon., so it won't be any fun.

"Master, I have a question."

"When do you not Ani?"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind, what is your question?"

"Where were you last night?"

Obi-Wan's face turned a dark pink and he hid a smile behind his hand.  "I went to Knight Bellodoro's quarters for dinner."

"Yeah, but you didn't come back until this morning, and you shielded me from our bond."

"I could still sense you Padawan, you were in no danger."

"Totally I know that!  What I don't know is why you were shielding from me."  Anakin stuck out his lower lip and crossed his arms in his classic 'tell me or I'll pout 'til you do.' Pose.

All too familiar with said pose, Obi-Wan realized it was time to explain this particular fact of life to his apprentice.  He sighed and rose from the couch, setting down the datapad with his lesson plans and came over to take the chair beside the boy.  "Alright, I suppose this is as good a time as any to explain some of the facts of life to you."

"The facts of life?"

"Yes.  Do you know where human children come from?"

Anakin made a disgusted raspberry noise.  "Of course!  I grew up on the streets of Tatooine.  And Master Win-Cara covered it in human biology six months ago."

"Well, that's a relief.  Did he explain why humans procreate through sex?"

"What do you mean why?  Because that's how a baby is made."  Anakin blushed a little.

"Humans can make babies in a lab, its quite simple.  No pain or discomfort for the woman.  Why do we still choose to do it the old-fashioned way?"

The boy blinked.  In the three years since his coming to the temple, Obi-Wan had never seen his apprentice so totally stumped.  He didn't laugh, but the teacher grinned broadly.  

"I give up, tell me."

The knight shook his head, "Come on Anakin, you who grew up on the streets, tell me."

Anakin screwed up his face and concentrated, "MMmmmmmm – Master I don't know!"

"Why does one drive a speeder faster than the limit when there is no rush to get to the destination?"

"Because it's more fun!"

"Exactly."  Obi-Wan's wicked grin was almost scary.

"But what does that have to do with where you…were…" The boy's mouth dropped open,  "Master!"

"What?"  The blush was back in Obi-Wan's cheeks, but his grin didn't fade.

"You-you, can't want to have a baby with Knight Bellodoro do you?"

He turned nearly white and actually had to take several deep breathes to answer,  "No! –Ahem- Of course not…heh, heh…."  

Anakin watched with undisguised annoyance as his master dissolved first into his natural deep chuckle and on into a silent shaking with his eyes squeezed shut and tears leaking down his face.  "Ah – hee-hee – uh, Oh Force!  Ani, sometimes you are absolutely priceless!"

Again folding his arms and sticking out his lip, Anakin glared at the hysterical young man,  "Its not something to laugh about, it's a serious consideration!"

With a major effort of his not inconsiderable will, Obi-Wan got himself under control,  "I'm sorry, really."  He coughed lightly and wiped his face on his sleeve,  "That is not why I went to visit her."

"Then why?"

"You just told me you drive a speeder too fast because its fun –"

"Yeah sure, but-   Oh Yuck!  Master you can't mean that its fun to – gross!"

"It is fun, and it's also a biological necessity."

"No way!  How horrible!"

Obi-Wan held onto his need to laugh with both hands,  "All species have biological imperatives.  The need to survive is the strongest usually, it is for humans, and the second need is the one to procreate, to continue the survival of the species.  Therefore, nature makes sex enjoyable and necessary for continued health and well-being."

"Well alright, but you've only visited her twice in the last six months.  Is that all it takes?"

He wondered if Anakin would make a list in his journal of minimum sexual requirements for survival based on his master's actions.  "I don't have to visit her at all, I can handle the matter in other ways, visiting her is more fun that's all."

"Really?"  The boy perked up,  "What other ways?"

~ I hate you Qui-Gon.  I wish we had buried you instead of cremating you so I could dig you up and make you answer these questions, then beat you to death and bury you again. ~

"I'm afraid Ani, that you will have to discover those ways for yourself when you are a little older."


End file.
